For those of you without a Y chromosome, did you know that all men have two different personalities? I know, I know, men aren't that complicated so how could they possibly have two personalities? Well, I'm only privy to this insider information because my husband always tells me EVERYTHING about other men, especially after having spent two weeks on work trips with men... Would you like to know what I'm talking about?
All men have the personality they present around women and their families. This personality is the toned-down, PG, family-friendly, non-sexist version. As women, we all know these personalities as the norm. This is the personality that we believe (or want to believe) is the only personality that men have.
The other personality is the one that only comes out when all parties in the immediate area are male. It's like all of the Y chromosomes sync up (like when females live together too long, and their cycles align), and a switch is turned off: the rating switch. What happens when the switch is turned off? Well, there are a lot of unnecessary 4-letter words thrown about carelessly, there are many sexist comments made about women (regardless if the man is married or not, old or young, has kids or doesn't), and their rating goes from PG to R. Some of the conversations would shock the fairer sex.
When my husband tells me the things that are said, I simply can't fathom it. I have met some of these older gentlemen, and they seem so nice, so fatherly, so polite. I know I will never experience them in a man-to-man context, but what if I could? I don't think I'd be able to wipe the look of shock and horror off my face.
How does the uncomplicated sex know when to turn that ever-so-important switch on and off? They all have attended the secret Mandatory Man Seminar where they learn the do's and don'ts. There are a select few who missed the seminar or who refuse to pay attention to the repeated memos sent to them about said seminar. These men only have one personality. I have met one, and let me tell you, it was a bit shocking to hear the unfiltered comments that came out of his mouth. I remember saying to him, "You can't say things like that - you have kids!" Didn't stop him though. I thought he was an anomaly, but no, he just didn't attend the seminar. I used to think that men outgrew thoughts and speak so vulgar at as certain point in life. But no, they don't.
If you don't believe me, you can ask a man in your life. He may or may not confess the truth to you, but believe me, the truth is out there... and it is horrifying.
Image Credits: Iti (http://iti.ru/page/2/), Mankindunplugged (http://mankindunplugged.com/2011/02/16/2011-sports-illustrated-swimsuit-models/)
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