It is a hard truth that life just is not fair. Children, however, seem to think that life should be fair... children with siblings. As much as I did (and as much as I purchased) for Leighton when he was a baby, I am not doing as much for my second son Cambridge. Do I have mommy guilt about this issue? Of course I do. Cambridge is getting Leighton's old clothes, Halloween costumes, toys, nursery furniture.
This issue came up again in my mind because I was planning Cambridge's post-baptism lunch, and I really considered pooping out on ordering a cake as I had for Leighton's event. Why? It's just a hassle to pick it up, I'm on a diet (cake is a weakness for me), and I didn't want to spend the money. Oh how things have changed the second time around when my first son could only have "the best". I started to justify my logic by telling myself that he wouldn't even remember or know about the differences because he's not even three months old.
Well, I'm my own worst enemy - as usual. Since I make custom designed photo books for every year of my children's lives (a book each per year), they WILL literally be able to compare notes on their childhoods. Crap! Cambridge will see himself in Leighton's old Halloween costumes and clothes, and he will see - in some ways - how Leighton got more than he did, and he will exclaim, "That's not fair!", just as I remember saying those very words to my own parents.
What did my parents say? The same thing that every parent probably says in that circumstance: "Well, life's not fair." which does NOT appease any child at any time ever. Children are illogical, irrational, and emotional. They can't see the bigger picture and why things are done from a parent's perspective... until the children become parents and clarity through suffering is earned.
Of course I will try my best to be "fair" to my boys, but in the end, things will never be entirely equal, and they shouldn't be... for aren't they each their own person, and shouldn't they be treated differently?
Ahh, the joys of parenting, and the suffering that goes along with it. It's just not fair.
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