Ha ha, Ricky Bobby (from the movie Talladega Nights)... I know that line doesn't make sense, but I bet it makes sense to your husband after you had kids... No woman intentionally decides to neglect her husband when she has kids, but when there are small beings that are illogical and have needs that need to be met at specific times, it's all too easy to forget about your husband's needs because (in theory), he can take care of himself (but we all know that men can't "go feral").
Most husbands silently stew about being last even after the family pet, but what are we women supposed to do? We give and we give all day to the ones who need it the most, and sometimes there's not a whole lot left to give at the end of the day. At least in our house, my husband comes before Kilala the cat who has, in my vocabulary, become "cat", but I know that in some households, the husband actually comes after the family pet.
What solution is there to this epidemic? Well, the only thing that I can think of is to get a regular date night going, and don't neglect it or make excuses to get out of it. We plan to start taking some time for ourselves when our au pair arrives in late September, and we won't have to pay extra for evening childcare/date nights (or have to wait until family is in town to volunteer to watch the kids). I know that many couples tend to shy away from date nights because they're expensive on top of paying a sitter, and with the cost of life with small children already amassing to large sums of money, justifying date night gets harder and harder.
I know I'm super guilty of putting my husband at the back of the line, but there are times I do try... when I have enough energy and patience. Sometimes I feel like saying, "You're lucky you even get food" when he complains about dinner. When we had our first son's baby shower, we had friends write down words of wisdom on cards for us, and one friend said, "Don't forget about Mark". I laughed, but life happened, and he was forgotten.
So in the spirit of making an effort in our marriages, let's all try a little harder to bump our husbands up in line a few times a week. Maybe, just maybe, we'll all be happier for it.
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Cyndi M. Frick
This lifestyle blog is my outlet to share and advise about the things I love. I always have an opinion!