This morning I overhead the people on the news talking about another new study (eye roll - new studies always contradict old studies, and the next new study always contradicts the last new study, until eternity) that was testing the happiness of couples with children and couples without children. My husband and I were a childless couple for 6 years before "starting a family" (even though once you're married you are a "family" - duh), and we were happy. Now that we have two children, however, are we as happy or happier? (See, look at that photo of my husband and the boys... doesn't he look thrilled beyond words?)
That's a tough question. The studies say that the most important people to a mother is her children, and the most important person to a husband is his wife. Do you see the clear difference in priorities? How can that vast difference make for a happy family when each parent has a different priority?
Maybe it's a good thing that the husband wants to make his wife happy so she's happy so she can make the kids happy which equals less chaos which in turn makes the husband happy? Is there some sort of master plan of circular logic at play here? I know that most men with children feel left out in the love and attention department (mine included, I'm sure). However, it's not like the wife/mother can just make the husband her #1 priority and leave the kids to be reared by the family pet.
Clearly, for a family to be happy, couples need to make each other feel special while also focusing together as a team on making the children's lives happy as well... not always easy in the daily grind of whining, tantrums, and having food thrown in your face. Even though these studies are more or less meaningless and useless, the upside is that they get us thinking about our priorities and remind us that we need to make an effort to work on all relationships within our families.
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Cyndi M. Frick
This lifestyle blog is my outlet to share and advise about the things I love. I always have an opinion!