I know I'm the mother of boys, but I feel like I may be overprotective of them when it comes to dating like a father is overprotective of his daughters. Is the role reversal for the opposite gender parent a normal phenomenon? I don't know. Why do I feel this way? Well, for some reason, I have it in my head that women are manipulative, and men are easily manipulated by women... (now where would that idea come from?)
Having said that, I worry about my sons' being manipulated by women who aren't right for them... or by women who are right but just feel the need to manipulate them as many women occasionally feel the need to do. Fathers know how they felt (all hormonal with one thing on their minds) about girls, and that's why they're very overprotective of their little girls, but women also know what women can be like too, and that scares me.
I was watching 19 Kids and Counting on TLC the other night, and one of the daughters had just entered into a courtship with a boy who had to ask permission from the father first to court his daughter. Not only that, but the parents requested that the boy tell them when he intended to take the relationship to the next physical level: holding hands. On My Five Wives, one of the daughters was asking the father if the boy she was interested in needed to ask him for permission to hold her hand, and he said yes, even though he never did that when dating his five wives. Why the different standards?
I was watching another episode of My Five Wives (hey, I like drama in my TV shows, not my life), and the father said, "I trust my daughter, but I don't trust boys." Is that the way it's always going to be for my own boys - they'll be seen as the villains, untrusted by parents of girls? Why? When the time comes, I will probably say that I trust my boys, but I don't trust girls. I suppose that we as parents don't trust who we didn't rear under our own rules and with our own values. Maybe courtship has something right - chaperoned dates.
Why is it okay for us as parents to do certain things, but it's not okay for our kids? Do as I say, not as I do, right? Is it okay for me (occasionally - when I really NEED to) to manipulate my husband, but it's not okay for another woman to manipulate one of my sons? I have anxiety over their future dating experiences. I feel like I'll be harshly judging any females that enter the house with intentions to woo my sons (and they will be wooed). How will I handle it? Will I get over it, or will I be sneering at them from the other side of the room in a monster-in-law kind of way?
Why is that we are so untrusting of the other members of our own sex? I'm sure I'm not the only mother who feels as though she needs to protect her sons from the devils in red dresses, the fairer sex, but hopefully I can be a good enough female role model for them to be able to choose wisely and make the right decisions when it comes to women... hopefully... or I'll have to get a taser and play shaparone...
Image Credit: Oprah.com (http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Thought-for-Today-Luck)
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Cyndi M. Frick
This lifestyle blog is my outlet to share and advise about the things I love. I always have an opinion!