Women, have you ever gotten a gift from a significant other that you just didn't care for but were too scared to return it and ended up faking excitement over?
Men, have you ever been frustrated when shopping for a gift for your significant other, only to think you stumbled upon the perfect gift, and then realized later that she hated it because it was never used, worn, or displayed?
Luckily for all of you, I am here to mediate and help both sides out. For some reason, women think that a subtle hint will somehow manifest itself into their getting exactly what they alluded to. Women also think that said gift will be presented in some sort of romantic doves-and-chocolate-and-roses surprise extravaganza. News Flash: MEN DO NOT UNDERSTAND SUBTLETY! If you don't come right out and tell them something, don't expect to get what you want.... it's that simple. Women over-think and over complicate everything, and men oversimplify and under-think everything.
Men are scared to make the wrong choices and mistakes, but they want to please us. Not telling them what you want only leaves them afraid and cautious and ending up buying something you don't like but pretend to like. I, for one, am a terrible liar with a terrible poker face. When Mark and I were first married, I received some gifts that I wasn't overly excited about and had to fake (poorly, mind you) excitement over (the Hot Diggity Dogger, the 2,000 piece puzzle - to name a few - sorry Mark; I know how proud you were to present these carefully-thought-out gifts to me, and I appreciate the thought...) Almost 10 years later, I still have not opened that puzzle.
I have a close friend that confessed to me that she didn't like the jewelry her significant other continued to buy her for special occasions. She likes jewelry, but his taste (or what he thought her taste was) and her tastes were completely different. She didn't know what to do. I asked her (wise sage that I am) if she ever told him what she wanted, and she said she hadn't. Why do women assume that men know what we want? THEY DON'T.
Knowing that I am very particular and hate surprises, I was the one shopping for and picking out my own engagement ring. I know it's more romantic not to know what's coming and when it's coming, but I'm too much of a control freak to let something I would wear my entire life be chosen by someone who wasn't 100% sure of what I wanted (and if I didn't like it, Mark didn't want to hear about it for the rest of his life either - he thinks I like to store negative memories and bring them out when it's convenient for me - can you imaging a woman ever doing something like that?).
My advice to you is that if you care about a gift you know you will be receiving, regardless of a hint or not, you need to be more straightforward. Because of my particular tastes and my disdain for surprises, I have stopped assuming that Mark will know what I want, and I email him links to or images of what I want. Sure, it takes a little of the mystery out of the gift, but if you know what you want, and he clearly does not, do all you can to ensure that you end up happy... and he ends up happy getting you what you want. If you still want a little mystery when it comes to your gifts, send multiple options to your significant other. Seeing you actually using, wearing, or displaying his gift because you like it (and picked it out) will make him happy too... In the, end there will be NO "FAKING" of anything (I meant happiness - what did you think I meant!?).
Save your money, save your time, and communicate. You will all be happier in the end.
Image Credit: ChaCha.com (http://www.chacha.com/gallery/5323/what-should-you-never-say-after-opening-a-present/50599)
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Cyndi M. Frick
This lifestyle blog is my outlet to share and advise about the things I love. I always have an opinion!