Nose picking, spitting, and incessant talk of poop... am I enduring these things because I'm the mother of boys, or are all parents experiencing the same age-related, gender-unbiased attacks on their senses?
In our house, the word "poop" (or "poopy", rather) has actually become so prevalent that it has defied the laws of grammar and has elevated itself from noun to adjective... Example: "Poopy daddy", "Poopy house", "Poopy mommy" and so on... Hey, I didn't say that my son was creative in the exercising of his new addition to the English language.
What manner of thinking sparks inquisitions like this from my eldest: "Did brother poop? Can I see it?" Furthermore, why does he run to see the cat puke on the floor when I exclaim, "EEW! Gross!"? And why does he spit into the sunlight that filters hazily into the house so that he can play in the reflective mist that sprays from his lips? And why, why, why does he feel the need to pick and eat? I know he's getting enough food, and I'm going to take a leap here and assume that it tastes better than nose gold.
I guess in my parent-induced haze called "survival mode" I just learned to ignore the constant nose picking (and sometimes eating), but when my Ukrainian Au Pair asked me what she should do when my 4-year-old picks his nose, I guess I didn't have a good answer:
"Um... tell him not to because it's gross... but then he'll probably do it again because he's getting attention... but if you don't say something, then he might not know he's not supposed to do it....? I don't have a good answer for you, I'm sorry. Kids are just gross."
As an adult, of course I think I'm smarter than my children, but playing mind games with someone a fraction of my age and losing doesn't say much as to my higher intellect. I keep telling myself (and others), that they'll grow out of it and that being gross is just a "phase", but is it?
What about that line in the movie Frozen when Kristoff asks Anna about her precious Hans:
"What if he picks his nose... and eats it?"
"Excuse me sir, he is a prince!"
"All men do it..."
Isn't there always a twinge of truth behind any comment?? AND, it's Disney! Who are we to question them? But in reality, can you imagine a grown man on a first date... finger buried in his nose... having an off-menu appetizer? Yeah, that would be a "CHECK PLEASE!"-no-second-date-don't-call-me-EVER moment.
Maybe boys don't ever grow out of their "gross" phase... perhaps they just learn to hide it better... in the privacy of their bachelor pads and in the company of their male friends. As I sit here in my office at this very moment listening to my son making spitting noises outside my door, I realize that I may never know if growing out of the gross phase is even possible so to that end, I'll just pacify myself with our house motto of "Kids are just gross"... maybe I'll even have it crocheted onto a pillow so I can pass it down to them when they have kids!
Image Credit: Egypttoday.com
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