It's Au Pair week at our house (like hell week - ha!), and I am so busy that I just don't have time to generate good, quality, new material this week as we prepare to welcome our Au Pair from Germany on Friday. Please excuse my laziness this week, and enjoy my blog for Go Au Pair about how I think that an Au Pair can be good for your marriage:
No Host Mom wants to admit that her marriage isn’t perfect, but I’ll be the first to acknowledge the truth in that having children did not necessarily strengthen the bond between my husband and myself. Having children is HARD, and when you’re getting less sleep, the children are slowly driving you to madness, and finances become tighter, a recipe for TV-family bliss that does NOT make.
Why do a lot of marriages fail? Frankly, there are good reasons sometimes... Women often expect too much from their husbands, and we all know that men cannot multitask successfully so we’re all setting ourselves up for failure. We women expect our husbands to be our best friend, our confidant (without solving the problem – just a listener), a problem solver (when we actually want a solution to a problem, and we’re not just venting), a co-parent, a provider, and more.
In our house, the frequency of communicating in an “elevated speaking voice” (i.e. yelling) has increased since having children, and often times issues related to the children become screaming matches between my husband and myself – situations that result in hurt feelings and regret. I know that having an Au Pair is going to be good for our marriage because some of the pressure to be all of those things for me will be taken off of my husband and will be taken on by the Au Pair.
An Au Pair will provide a much-needed extra set of adult hands, an extra layer of patience, and frankly, another female set of ears that understands when I need to vent and not have a problem solved. As much as no one would admit, the pressures that comes along with having a family can wear on your marital relationship, and something that was supposed to bring you closer together pushes you farther apart.
Dividing and conquering your children to survive often creates separation that no one intended. I am so looking forward to my Au Pair’s impending arrival; there will be freedom that will come along with hosting an Au Pair, and we may even get a chance to spend some “quality” date time with each other without having to double pay for childcare and dinner in order to have time to work on our relationship without yelling or having food spit across the table. My marriage counselor-type advice: seriously look into hosting an Au Pair – do it for your sanity and your marriage!
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Cyndi M. Frick
This lifestyle blog is my outlet to share and advise about the things I love. I always have an opinion!