Sometimes I find myself wondering if I'm too selfish as a mother or if I'm just making myself feel guilty for things I shouldn't. Case in point, would you feel guilty if you took some time to yourself and went shopping, got a manicure or pedicure, or worked out? I feel like there is so much pressure on mothers these days to want to spend 24/7 with their kids and to make every sacrifice possible.
I know I'm all fire and brimstone at the end of this pregnancy, and I can't seem to get my mind around anything else, but honestly, some of the things that are making me annoyed and anxious (and extremely crabby) about the length of in-utero stay my 2nd is taking are rather selfish. Yes, I have guilt about these feelings, but should I have to? Is the guilt justified?
Haven't I already made sacrifices just being a mother, struggling to get pregnant twice with a fertility disorder, and then carrying my children for 9+ months and doing everything possible to make sure I'm eating well, exercising, following all of the pregnancy rules, etc.? Haven't I earned a little selfish?
What are these horrible selfish things I'm driving myself crazy over? Well, they're both rather vain: #1. the dreaded stretch marks. If stretch marks had a slogan, it would be much like the old diamond campaign: "A Stretch Mark Is Forever". I'll tell you, with each passing day, I fell like my chances for another stretch mark increase exponentially. Leighton gave me one little "forever" gift (though hardly noticeable), and I was hoping not to get another.
#2, The other awful, selfish thing I'm worrying about is getting my body back. I know, I should be happy if my second is born healthy and normal (of course I will be - isn't that an understood?) but beyond that, there are other valid things to be concerned about. Doesn't every woman worry about getting back in shape? I am just dying to get into a hard core workout - dying! I'm even considering bypassing T25 and going right for the Insanity workout.
You see, there is a reason this blog is called "The Most Unlikely Mother": I feel like I'm not the stereotypical mother who is all self-sacrifice, rainbows, and kisses, letting herself go so she can spend all of her time and effort on her kids. That doesn't mean I'm a bad mother, but I do feel guilty about some things.... but don't we all, regardless of the type of mother we are?
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